The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes. The reason for that is because he only has one arm. Remember you can always jump over to another category of jokes whenever you want. Just hope I can pull it off. What do you call a herd of cows masturbating? My wife ran off with my best friend last week.
Nothing is foolproof to a talented fool. What did the O say to the Q? I mean my anxiety is through the roof but record times. The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room. Yesterday I learnt that 20 piranhas can strip all flesh off a man within 15 minutes. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
A committee is twelve men doing the work of one. Two snails are chatting on the sidewalk. I just got lost in thought. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.
I spilled spot remover on my dog. That's why our new email newsletter will deliver a mobile-friendly snapshot of inews. Stupid Jokes: One Liners Save the whales. Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new. The easiest job in the world has to be coroner. Pepper come in a bottle? Because he found his honey.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. Some of them are simply better than others, while some are worse than anything you might have heard in your life. I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize. What do you call someone who refuses to fart in public? The startled horse is now in a dead run and the beautiful blonde finds herself hanging off to one side of the horse, her head just inches from the ground… catastrophe seconds away. With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine. If you find certain comments or submissions here offensive, the best way to address it is with more speech.
Do you know how motivating it is swimming to the theme song from Jaws? When you choke a smurf, what color does it turn? You are depriving some poor village of its idiot. How do you embarrass an archaeologist? Do not walk beside me either. There are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. Because those men already have boyfriends. A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries. He knocked on the door and asked the Mother Superior if she had any dirty habits. He wanted to win the No-bell prize! Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars and he'll believe you.
Rapid advancement in technology made it a lot easier for us to get hold to latest best hilarious jokes and we only have to log in to Twitter, Facebook, WhatsApp or other social networks. The man at the desk said 1 dollar per word. Efficiency is a highly developed form of laziness. I went to a general store. My roommate got a pet elephant. The difference between divorce and legal separation is that a legal separation gives a husband time to hide his money.
Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. She bought a bull then went to the telegraph office to notify her sister. If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving isn't for you. What do you call two jalapeños getting it on? Google request: How to disable autocorrect in wife? What do you call a vegan with diarrhea?. Children in the dark make accidents, but accidents in the dark make children.